Friday, June 18, 2010

2.19: Game Room Rules - Rule #6

This week I'm plugging Scott Sigler's soon-to-be-released book, Ancestor.  In Ancestor, a biotech company is attempting to create a herd animal that has human-compatible organs for the purpose of organ donation.  Their experiments go awry, and hilarity ensues.  Well, hilarity in the form of an edge-of-your-seat thriller involving not-so-herbivorous creatures snuggling up to the novel's characters--with their teeth.

Scott Sigler has been giving his books away in the form of a free weekly podcast (audio file); over the past several years he has built up a significant audience, and signed with a big time publishing company.  Ancestor is being released in hardcover on June 22, and Sigler is attempting to reach the top ten on the NY Times Bestseller list.  Any pre-orders count toward the first week's sales, and thus aid the effort to reach the aforementioned bestseller list. 

The rules so far, and a totally appropriate picture:

Rule #1:  Have fun.
Rule #2:  Let your opponent(s) have fun.
Rule #3:  Play appropriately.
Rule #4:  Remember, it's just a game.
Rule #5: Take care of my crap/other people's crap.

Rule #6:  D.B.A.  Don't be an Ass.

There are two aspects to this rule, the first regarding gaming.  Most of this is covered in previous rules, but they are written specifically for people who wouldn't have considered these things, or might "break" a rule on accident.  Rule #6 is for anyone who would break any of the rules on purpose.  So, don't.

Don't do things that will intentionally upset another person, in game or out.  Don't make moves to intentionally ruin one person's game; I'm not advocating against "beat the leader," "Kingmaker," or other appropriate in-game situations--I'm talking about "Brian ate the last cupcake and took my parking spot, I'm going to make sure he loses the game" situations.  But Brian, stop taking the last cupcake, geeze.  Along those lines (regarding DBA, not the cupcake), don't make moves that will outright ruin a game. 

The second aspect of this rule regards interactions with people.  Be a decent person, plain and simple.  Don't act stupid, don't do anything that will put my family, friends, or house in danger.  Don't do anything that will result in my neighbors getting angry--the Black Car Nazi no longer lives near us, so I can say that I like many of my neighbors, and am at least am neutral toward the rest.

Don't do anything that will result in the cops showing up.  As a long-haired Hispanic guy who "obviously plays guitar and sells drugs" (that's a joke, I don't do either of those things), I see them enough when I'm driving.  I don't need to be on a first-name basis.

 Also, I hate filling out paperwork--one of the most unpleasant experiences I had while substitute teaching were the two instances where I knew I was going to have to fill out injury reports before I left for the day.  I don't want to take anyone to the hospital, the dentist, or fill out witness or insurance reports.  Keep in mind that this means taking care of yourself, as well.  If you do something retarded that causes any of this nonsense to happen, I promise you two things:  First, I will be pissed.  Second, I will make a point to laugh at you before anything is resolved.  This includes injuries, so you better hope you're not bleeding heavily.

Yes, this rule is crass, but it gets across a some of the most important information I want to get across in three words.  I've probably invited you to my house, you're probably around my family and friends.  Odds are that you are one of my friends, though we have had visitors come and play games.  Be a normal, respectable human being, don't force me to murder you.  I hate digging holes, and the backyard is getting full.

Don't forget, this Sunday (June 20th) is the start of Father's Day Week.  Father's don't get enough credit, what with Mother's always stealing their thunder.  Make sure you do something special for the fathers in your lives.  And if you are a father, good job, high-five, and make sure to milk it for all you can.